Let me introduce myself: I am Purnima born in Abu Dhabi and brought up in Abu Dhabi, Erode, Coimbatore and Chennai. I am a typical south Indian and my love for filter coffee, Rajinikanth movies and Kanchipuram sarees never fade.
But I have one very unusual curse. Or maybe a cosmic fan following.
I am that girl the one who gets shat on by crows. Consistently!!! Repeatedly!!! Across neighborhoods!!! Across outfits!!! Across various phases of my life!!! Sigh.
Episode 1: The Job Interview Kaakaa (crow)
The year was 2008. I was in my most Indian corporate outfit (A cotton kurta from FabIndia and neatly ironed leggings), walking confidently into Tidel Park armed with a folder, a fake smile and a ridiculous level of hope. I paused under the banyan tree and looked up.
Rookie mistake. SPLAT.
The crow struck. Right on my freshly washed hair. Now
washed hair + crow poop = public shame.I ran into the nearest restroom. The cleaning
lady there gave me a knowing look and simply said,
“Kaaka tooricha, idu nalla shagunam” (Crow pooped, don’t worry it’s a good
sign of good luck)
Well not sure about the good luck, I didn’t get the job. But I did get a course in Chennai hospitality and a lifelong phobia of standing under trees.
Episode 2: The Temple Tantrum
Every Thursday I religiously visited Kapaleeshwarar Temple in Mylapore and as instructed by mom pray for a “good alliance.” I wore a traditional saree, jasmine flowers in my hair and held a packet of ghee lamps. I looked like a model for the Iyer matrimonial ad. As I was walking around the temple, with my peak bhakthi mode activated …..
BOOM. Direct hit. Right on the jasmine flowers.
It wasn’t just a physical assault but was a spiritual disrespect. One uncle nearby whispered, “Ah! Blessings ma. Soon, you’ll be married.”
No wedding came. Just a mild scalp infection and annoyed me.
Episode 3: The Beach Blunder
We used to live in Besant Nagar so weekend evenings were spent at the beach. One such Sunday evening, I went to beach with friends. Salt breeze, bajji stalls and fish stalls and college nostalgia. My friends took out their phones to do the mandatory photoshoot. I smiled. Turned slightly left. Tilted my head.
SPLAT. Right on my forehead. Like a blessing gone rogue. Yup at 6:00 pm in the evening
One guy yelled, “Super machi!” While my friends were perplexed and said “Dude, it’s like these crows are using Google Maps and targeting you specifically.”
And with that I started carrying wet wipes and trauma.
Episode 4: Bidding farewell in style
A few years later I moved cities or rather states and started living in Bengaluru. More than the weather and pub culture I was excited there weren’t many kaakaa - crows, and I will definitely evade them and their wonderful blessing. Having said that, I do visit Chennai occasionally to meet my college friends etc.
On one such visit to Chennai, I guess in 2014 or 2015 we were at Chennai Central railway station to send off a friend. After the train left we were walking back which was around 10:00 pm.
SPLAT. On my dress this time. Guess the crow’s vision wasn’t great at dark. But it still got me.
My friends burst out laughing and passerby thought we were high on something, as they could not see what happened. But I knew, kaakaa was waiting for my arrival to Chennai.
Episode 5: Wedding Mela
Another year during my Chennai visit, I had come to attend my cousin’s wedding reception at a fancy mandapam in T. Nagar, I wore my mom’s beautiful Kanchipuram saree with gold zari so shiny even the chandeliers blushed. Outside the venue, during a family group photo with forced smiles, overenthusiastic aunties, a crow dive-bombed me and touched my head and gave it's blessing.
I froze and my cousins burst out laughing and my nephew was like “Purnima periamma had a crow attack”. They call me "Andan Kakka (Raven)"
My Kaakaa Conclusion
I once asked my astrologer about these strange encounters that I have. He looked dead serious and said: “You may be carrying paavam (sin) from a past life. Maybe you were a cat in your last birth?”
Now, I’ve made peace with it. When in Chennai I carry an umbrella 24x7. I avoid trees like Chennaiites avoid North Indian sambhar. I’ve even started naming the crows — there's Kaaka Ramesh, Sniper Kavitha and the particularly aggressive one I call Bala the Bomber.
Moral of the Story –
Some people have luck.
Some people have charm.
I have... uncanny aerial attention from Chennai’s crow mafia.
But as mom always said: “If a crow poops on you, at least the universe knows you exist.”
And in the city of one crore people, that's definitely something.
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