Dating in Your 40's

When you're in your 40s and your friends suggest trying a dating app to meet new people, you might wonder if that's really the right approach. After all, you hear stories of people finding their partners this way, so maybe there's a chance it could work for you, too. But still, you can't help but question whether it's the right path for someone like you.

Well, the single me in her 40’s did try to navigate the world of dating apps – well actually just one, but you get the point. Getting into one and filling details were worse than writing your CAT entrance and for what; to end up getting catfished or meeting youngster’s who want the thrill of life. I started with a lot of reluctance. “I don’t know if I am ready to date anyone” or “I am too old fashioned for dating apps. If I meet someone organically, that’s another matter,” I would tell friends who tried their best to talk me into joining one.

Of course, I am not old fashioned that I think one can’t date in their 40’s or even much later. Quite a few of my friends have found love much later in their lives and few have even settled down to enjoy marital bliss. But dating apps? Well, that’s another ball game altogether. Downloading the app and putting together my profile was as daunting a task that I imagined. There are several prompts that let you choose the information you want to share about yourself. It did help, though, to hear others’ voices or watch their videos, but for now, I stuck to the basic text information.

After a long conversation with a friend, I was encouraged to stop overthinking and just dive in. “If you don’t like it, you can always delete it,” they said. And so, after much reluctance, I finally created my profile.

Now, I’ll admit, I don’t judge anyone for dating people older or younger than them. To each their own. But honestly, after a few days of interactions, it became clear that age doesn’t always correlate with maturity. I had someone in his late 40s ask me about my likes and dislikes in bed—on the first conversation, no less. Another guy in his 40s called me a "triple threat" because of my "chubby personality."

I’d be lying if I said that some of the comments didn’t make me blush. If I ever need a boost to my ego, I absolutely know where to go and look. On the flip side, there were some thoughtful conversations with people who were looking for more than just a casual hookup. We talked about theatre, food, books, travel, and music—things you could bond over just as easily as if you were meeting someone in person at a café or a pub. You don’t necessarily need to pursue a romantic relationship with them, but it’s nice to know there are others out there, whether they're divorced, single, single parents, or even married. It's a bit like fishing, but in a good way.

And guess what, here’s the fun part. As a a single woman in her 40’s dating can be quite an adventure too. Forget what you want, you’re absolutely clear about what you don’t want. You can spot the red flags from a mile away. Plus, spending time on your own means you’ve found your groove. Do I want to stay up all night chatting with someone when I could be curled up in bed with a glass of wine and Netflix? Not really. But I’m enjoying the process. As my wise friend said, there’s something really special about having a new sense of hope in your 40s.