Having a domestic help for household chores is a common scene in Indian households. In metros, demand for a good cook is quite high since pleasing the taste buds of all the family members under one roof is a challenge. I remember few funny encounters my friends had faced with their cooks. Stories of finishing liters of oil, making dishes way spicy, salty, watery, oily and adding potato to every dish (Yup have had paneer and potato gravy) were our lunchroom conversations in office.
Inspite of listening to all these stories, I decided to plunge in and find a cook for myself. Like every other person, I posted my requirement on social media (Facebook Pages) and informed my building caretaker for the same. My preference was for a woman cook who could make both south Indian and north Indian dishes. Facebook search turned futile, since I found several desperate and deprived souls who wanted to be friends. I was glad my building caretaker was able to refer a few cooks as per my requirement.
The evaluation round started, and I put them for test. (Guess hiring a candidate for a company is easier than this). Finally, I found this lady in her early 30’s who seem to be sane, introvert and eager to cook. I informed her that I would ask her to make certain dishes and she can cook as per her style but need to keep in mind the salt and spice level.
The first one week I made her cook Indian vegetarian dishes with vegetables like ash gourd, ridge gourd, spinaches etc. I was pleased with her cooking and the fact she cleaned the kitchen before leaving was something that I was happy with. I finally informed her she can start work from the next week after finalizing on her salary etc. She was punctual and regular to work, which pleased me, since several of my friends had complained on how their cooks would take leave without prior intimation. During the first month, I was supervising her so that she could understand my palate and use ingredients correctly. Once I gained confidence, I would tell her to cook the dishes and check on her if she requires anything. Letting a free range to someone in my kitchen is something that will amaze my friends, as they are aware how possessive I am of my kitchen.
Like every employee who has a different working style post their confirmation, my cook and her dishes turned out to be a fiasco. One day, I asked her to cook soya chunks and few roti’s. Once I sat down to eat, I was amazed at the number of cinnamon barks, bay leaf, cloves and aniseed in the dish.
The next day when she came, I asked her
Me: “Usha, why have you added so much stuff for a simple dish?”
Cook: “Akka, it will taste better and will taste like hotel food”
Me: “I need home food not hotel food. Please don’t add all these stuff in your day-to-day dishes”
The next day she made Rajma and I see cinnamon and bay leaf, luckily no aniseed, cloves and cardamom. Wasn’t sure if she had short term memory loss. So, to ensure I don’t go through the same conversation again, I decided the easiest solution was to hide the spice box. The following day when she arrived, I asked her to make Palak paneer and she went searching for spices.
Cook: “Akka where is the spice box? I am not able to find it.”
Me: “No spices required for this dish. Cook without them. You have finished my full one year's ration of spices in a week’s time.”
Cook: “Akka, but a bit is at least required for it to taste nice”
Me: “I will give you and for each spice you finish, I will deduct from your salary”
Cook: “Ayyo, I will cook without it. Don’t blame me if it does not taste like in hotels. Nutmeg is required and one small bit of cinnamon bark”
I just smiled and walked away.
The following week, I decided to make her cook biryani since I had a few friends who were coming over and besides she has always been telling me to make her cook biryani once.
Me: “Usha, I have two people coming over. What all would you require to make biryani and raita?”
Cook: “Hmm, akka I see you have mint leaves, rice etc. I will need nutmeg, kesar powder and also the spice box”
Me: “Why do you need Kesar powder?”
Cook: “Colour will come out super and dish will look nice”
Me: “Ok noted” (But honestly, I had made up mind I will not be picking up kesar powder and wont argue with her on this, since he was adamant on the ingredient.) “Also, Usha I want very minimal use of the spices. If you add like the other dishes, I will pack you off”
Cook: “No no Akka, I know you don’t like too much of it. I will not”
Me: “Ok I will let you know, how the biryani tastes, once my friend eats it”
Finally, when the biryani was cooked, it looked and smelled nice. I started serving food and vola; wasn't I wrong. Every mouth my friends ate, they had to remove one pod of cardamom and place it aside. Honestly, I had the mind to call her and reprimand her, but I refrained. The next day when she came,
Cook: “Akka, how was the biryani”
Me: “Usha what biryani did you make?”
Cook: “What happened Akka. It was mutton right. I had cooked mutton biryani”
Me: “Oh it was mutton biryani?”
Cook: “Yes I remember, you had bought mutton only and I had asked me to make mutton biryani only”
Me: “I thought it was Elaichi Biryani (Cardamom)”
Cook: “Oh they don’t like cardamom? I had counted and only put.”
Me: “How much did you put for 2 people?”
Cook: “Hmm, I remember counting so that I don’t put too much. Oh yes, I remember now. It was 10 pods. Why akka you also don’t like elaichi?”
Me: “Usha!!!! 10 !!! 10!!! You mean 10 pods for one kilo biryani”
Cook: “Ok Akka, will ensure no more Elaichi also”
I honestly gave up. I felt I was doomed, and this is going to be a never-ending battle with my cook. And now, I also have a story to tell on the battle with my cook.
A few weeks later, I met up with my school friend Sheeba over lunch. I was updating her on my adventures with my cook.
She laughed and said “This is nothing. You remember my cook right”
Me: “Yup I do remember. Is she the same person who cooked during Christmas Eve?"
Sheeba: “Oh Yes. So, when mom was here, I had asked her to make Kheer (sweet dish made of milk and sugar)”
Me: “Ok did she make it well?”
Sheeba: “Yes she did and when we sat to eat, I see cinnamon bark in it”
Me: “Woah, what? You’re talking about sweet dish right?”
Sheeba: “Yes. I called her and asked why had she put cinnamon in it? And my cook responds we put in kheer also”
We burst laughing realizing that cooks and spices seem to be the in thing. I felt happy that my cook has not reached a point where she uses in sweet dishes or rather the fear of expecting disastrous sweet dishes, has refrained me from asking her to make any.
Another story added to Cooks and their experimental cooking on us guinea pigs
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