Over the past few months, I have consciously
put an effort to reduce time spent on social media especially Facebook, since I
was getting addicted to it. A few weeks back I thought will log into Facebook
to see what is happening. I saw a lot of pictures and posts tagging a school
friend of mine. I was pretty confused and was wondering why there were so many
posts as her birthday was the following month. When I read the posts, it left
me speechless for a long time since those were condolence messages flowing from
all direction. My school friend Vidya was no more.
My mind took me back to my
childhood memories. We were the typical Indian family of the 90’s who relocated
to India for the kids education while the father’s continued working in the
Middle East enjoying the new found freedom (That’s a story for another day). My
brother and I moved to Erode, Tamil Nadu and were enrolled in B.V.B. Talking of
adapting, we were lost souls in a small town. We were so out of place and I
remember how I used to come crying home asking why did we have to suffer like
this? For people who knew me, would be surprised to know that I was bullied a
lot and I dreaded going to school.
Though our school was
co-education and had a reputation for being way modern for a small town like
Erode, I was alienated since I could only talk in English. No I wasn’t showing
off. Though my mother tongue was Tamil I could not speak much cos we always
spoke in English at home. In 6th grade the amount of groupism and
hypocrisy that prevailed, trust me TV series were nowhere close. It really felt
that I was trapped inside those American teen movies like Mean Girls. The irony
was the school bullies were the blue eyed students of the staff and were looked
upon as role models. I am sure if Bandit Queen had met them she would have
hired them to join her pack. When I finally realized that there was no escape
from this misery for the next 5 years, I decided the best was I would need to
change and become one of them.
A year passed and I was not aware
whom I was but I was considered one of them. My mom encouraged me for
extracurricular activities and during one of the inter school competition I met
Vidya for the first time. It was years ago but our first encounter is something
I will never forget. There was something about her which made me look at her
and I still remember the twinkle in her eyes and the big grin on her face. She approached me and introduced herself and
we instantly connected. She made me at ease by conversing in English and never
made me feel awkward since I did not know Tamil. Vidya was studying in an all girl’s
school where she stood out of the crowd wearing her skirt knee length with ankle
length socks. As I started interacting with her I realized she was mischief
monger who was up to something or the other.
I was amazed for a person who has been bought up in Erode she was bold
to voice her thoughts and live the ways she wanted. She was strong headed and
did not care what other thought about her. It felt so nice to have met someone
who reminded me of myself before I changed for these people.
Over the years we used to bump
into each other in various events and our catch up was regular during our Math's
tuition. Few people warned me not to be too friendly with her since that would
tarnish my image. Though I ignored what these people said I never had the guts to
ask them to mind their own business. I used to wonder why she was bad mouthed
when all she did was speak her mind. Well in a small town which was filled with
hypocrites (Sugarcoated talk in front of you and bitch behind your back)
accepting someone like this was not easy. I continued my friendship with her
and we acknowledged each other whenever we met talking about simple things that
made us laugh.
After completing my high school I
moved cities for my graduation while Vidya continued in Erode. That was the
time when google chat and yahoo messenger was the mode of communication. (We did not have mobile phones to carry
around) We started chatting and updating on our day to day life and laugh
to our hearty content. The more I started interacting with her, I realized I
was living a life of misery and just to be someone in the group, I had lost my
identity. I connected with her and felt at ease. It made me realize that the
dumbest thing I had done was give in to peer pressure and lose my own identity.
Over the years we just lost touch and got engrossed in our own life and
priorities that our friendship took a backseat.
Today a few people admire me for
the way I am and people who say am a role model for a lot of single woman. It
makes me realize if I had not met Vidya and not spent time with her, I might
not be the way I am. My only repentance today; is I lost touch with her and was
not beside her when she was bravely fighting against cancer.
‘May your soul rest in peace. You
have been a ray of sunshine and a moral support when I was lost. You will
always be remembered as the chirpy headed tomboy with a lot of energy.’
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