#NotTooLate for a #MeToo tag

Over the past few days #MeToo movement has picked up momentum and has been the topic of discussion in any forum. I have seen a lot of women opening up on the harassment / molestation or close encounter they have had with sexual predators. A lot of my friends shared their stories and how some bravely voiced out or fought back whereas some of them or rather most of them hid the incident and have been living in guilt for no fault of theirs.

Today when I was sipping my freshly brewed coffee with the morning newspaper (Honestly, I should not call it a newspaper since its filled with only advertisement) there was an article of a small screen actress mentioning how she was harassed by the actor Alok Nath. For people who do not know Alok Nath, well he is an actor who does roles of an ideal father every girl would dream for. She stated that during a shoot years back he had misbehaved with her and the crew members had to intervene and keep her safe. My dad read the article and scoffed at it stating if something had happened years back to her why did she have to wait for a decade long to open up considering she would have had various forums to voice her thoughts.

That casual conversation of my dad’s made me realize that is the mindset we all carry and as Indians our brains have been wired to evade conflicts and confrontation.  It made me think of my childhood and brought a lot of bad memories that I had forgotten or rather buried deep inside me. One such incident was in the year 1992, when I was in my 5^th grade in Abu Dhabi. Being a tomboy I loved wearing shorts and jumpsuits. During one of our weekend outing we had come for a stroll and I was holding my father’s hand to cross the main road when a random man came from nowhere and groped my butt and brushed his elbow on my chest and walked passed us. I was shocked but I informed my parents right away and that predator noticed me talking to my parents and pointing a finger towards him. He had a smirk on his face and I realized the reason why. My parents have decided to ignore what I was saying, since they felt it would have happened accidentally as it was crowded road. (Really!! We all know what is an accidental touch) I was so disappointed with my parents and upset that they did not believe a word I said and it did cross my mind that they were in the assumption that I have cooked up this story. I noticed, he was following me; since he realized my parents had not taken heed to what I had said. I tried to keep a distance and ensured he was nowhere near me and when he did come within close proximity I stomped his foot so that he does not touch me again. Luckily, my dad hauled for a taxi and I happily boarded the same to escape that ugly man. I was pretty upset with my parents and lost trust in them.

A few days later, when we were at a family friend’s house, I shared this incident with aunty and she asked if I had spoken to my parents. I informed, I had however, they did not believe me.  She praised me for being brave and glad I realized what was happening was wrong. In the evening when my mom came to pick me up, I heard aunty discussing the same with my mom (I wasn't sure  if she at least believed me or she also felt I was fabricating the entire thing). My mom looked at me and she did seem to be upset. I never got to know if she was upset that she had not believed me when I told her on the first instance or upset that she was not able to handle the situation. However this incident or topic was something that was never discussed between us. It was an incident that was buried forever. 

After the encounter with a pedophile, I never wanted to wear my favourite pink and green polka shorts and I started wearing salwar suits. I guess my instincts told me if I wear loose flowing clothes I would be safe from the hands of predators, which I realize is totally wrong. My parents could never understand why I was not wearing skirts or shorts which I was comfortable in and neither did I provide clarification for my sudden change of attire.

An incident which happened 20 years ago and long forgotten by me (rather forcibly buried) is suddenly fresh in my mind, like it happened yesterday. To all the people who are pointing a finger and mocking the victims you need to realize that it’s difficult for a victim to open up and hence the delay in reporting such instances. Hence it does not mean, that they are doing it for a publicity stunt or to attain media attention. I salute each and every woman who have opened up even after years of the incident cos discussing it in an open forum is not easy for them and neither is it a laughing matter.

There has been a lot of mockery, mimes about the #Me-too movement; but it is also an eye opener for all of us. We need to teach our children to respect each other and also give them the confidence that as elders we believe and trust them. We should also ensure, that we are able to raise our voice against these wrong doers.

Hoping to see a change in the way we all think.