Made in USA

An Indian girl who is single in her mid-30’s is socially unaccepted in our society. People around you ensure to make you feel twice your age with their so called concerns. A society which considers talking about ‘sex’ as taboo have no issues talking about another person’s biological clock ticking. Dude it’s not a time bomb for heaven sakes.  Anyways coming to the point, a country where matrimonial sites and dating apps are flourishing, I have been searching for the so called soul mate. Over the years, I have met people and had hilarious conversations with them which has made me write this today.

The most hilarious conversation I have ever had till date was with this person residing in USA. To avoid confusion, I have named him Mr. S. Mr. S had moved to USA on project requirement (Yes your guess is right, he is a techie) and was in midst of getting his Green card.

This profile came within two months of my mom’s demise hence I was not in the right state of mind to have any sort of small talk. However, since the guy showed interest, I decided to connect once to see how it goes. The call started with Mr. S giving his condolences since my dad informed him on my mom’s untimely demise. He started with his introduction on what his profile is all about and why he decided to move to USA and on his future plans. (Trust me the conversation speed was worse than the Satapdhi Express and also I had the urge to say breathe before you collapse). The way the call was heading it made me wonder if he had plans to elope right away if things went well?  The entire conversation was revolving around him and hence I could not take it any longer. I curtly stopped him midway and asked why he was keen on getting married?

The response that he shared struck me like a lighting from the sky.
Mr. S:    “I have stopped hanging out with my friends.”
Me:        “Why?”
Spontaneous response to the above question was :

Mr. S:   “All my friends are married and during any get-together or trips they come as couples and I feel    lonely and the odd one out since am single. Hence, I decided if I hang out with the group, it would be only after me getting married”.

Though I am considered a chatterbox in my friend circle, for the first time I was left speechless. It made me think, if I had decided to do what he had done with his friends, I would have become a recluse a decade back. I also wanted to ask him, if it meant he would want kids since his friends have kids. But dreading to get a crappier response, I refrained myself and decided against it.

Finally to break the silence, he asked what was I expecting in a relation? I had the urge to tell Mr. S definitely you do not come in that equation, but I decided to give a simple answer and conclude the conversation. I said “I expect a person who will respect me for what I am and accept me as I am. Also I expect the person to respect my family members, if he expects the same from me”. I presumed he would stop talking. However, he scoffed and said “What you just said is bullshit. When two people get married, one person’s passion is both peoples liking and that is why they are couples. Also it is a known fact that marriage is between two families and the respect part comes in automatically.”

The arrogance in his explanation touched a chord in me and I spontaneously told him “Looks like you will follow your better half if she decides to jump into a well.” I just wanted to conclude this call and I was honestly surprised he was spending hours bullshitting. But alas he proved me totally wrong, cos the bullshitting part was just about to begin. He informed, if everything goes well, he was expecting a marriage in December (This conversation is happening in the month of August). Then he puts across what are the next course of action.

1.     My dad would need to visit Chennai and meet his family since his parents can’t travel.

2. Since US visa rules have become stringent, he would be continuing with his project and trying to move back after the project gets over which is after 3 years.  

3.  He asked me not to worry, since he would get me a job in Chennai and I can look after his parents. His arrogance was evident when he commented that people residing in Bangalore feel that’s the only city in entire India.

All I wanted to ask him at this point of the conversation was if he really knew how to talk to a person, especially a woman? He needed a home nurse and not a wife. But I heaved a sigh and said “Thank you for this lengthy chat. But am not in the right frame of mind to even think of talking to someone, hence marriage is quite far for now. ”

The final response was a nail in the coffin. “Hey am sorry if I had confused you or mislead you with my parent’s health as pressure on me. We are perfectly good with life insurance covering scheme by Mahaperiyava (follower of some pundit) and that is not the reason for me to reach you. I liked your profile so reached out to you to express my interest. It’s your life and you have every right to decide and take wise decision that will keep your happy. If you have thoughts to revert please do so at your convenience.”

Finally I did what I should have done a long time back. I disconnected the call and blocked his contact forever. I pity the girl who is destined to marry him.